Negativland...at last.

Hi I'm me and I'm using this to sell you this. After doing an advertisement for margarine, Eleonor Roosevelt said "Half the people are sad because i damaged my reputation, the other half are happy because I damaged my reputation."

celebrate wider margins

To celebrate my new wider content table, I thought I'd post a bigger picture up in this mug. Wider tables will help out my picture posting tremendously so yippy. I also made the banner a little bigger. If you are confused about the banner (as Kara was) it's something I made since all blogs are required to have a vauge, edgy-esque name. The guys is from iStock's free picture of the week from like 2 weeks ago. I'm also trying to use brighter fluorescent colors like the Brazilians do. Leave it to me to a few months behind on design trends. Better late than never, right?

processing 2.03.75222.0

PROCESSING. For some reason it's really really like the most amazing thing to hit the webbernet since the jpeg. Actually, it is quite cool and one of my favorite artists, Ben Fry, is behind it. In stubbornly pursuing the impossible goal of becoming a designer/programmer, PROCESSING might be considered the holy grail of web snobbery. I don't understand things without timelines though. I even took a class in college where we were going to learn PROCESSING but nobody understood it so the teacher gave up.

Here are some very nice pictures of Russian people from 100 years. They are in color too which is pretty mind boggling.


I also completed my first employee self-assessment today. It was pretty dramatic. Next I have a one on one with my boss. It's an opportunity for me to talk about myself.

watch stuff on the internet

You can watch just about anything streaming over the internet. I wouldn't do it at work though, you might become very unproductive. Anyway, these sites let you do just that. Don't watch the movies though. They are way better at home or in the theaters.

JelloTV
AllUC.org

Also, if you are a fan of laughter, this site featuring budding daily show correspondent Dimitri Martin is quite good. Hard to believe it's sponsored by Windows Vista. Clearification

delete geoducks

I think the geoduck post was a bad idea. It came from a good place but i want to delete it now but I don't think that's the right thing to do so I'm going to live with it forever. At work today I watched some good documentaries. One was about Chechnya and the other was about whether or not we really exist. The former was depressing and the latter more so.

It makes me wonder though. If the big bang came from nothing wouldn't everything that followed happen the exact same way no matter how many times it was repeated? That's assuming forces dictate sequences of events (which they do) and random chance doesn't.

Anyway, there is nothing worse than an amateur cosmologist so I'll shut the fuck up. I've been working on some designs at work that I want to start putting up here a la Ocean Phantasy. I do actually work at my job but it's getting harder to stay on task.

searching for geoducks

In an effort to learn more about earth and it's wonderous mysteries, i've been researching the elusive geoduck. Not at all related to the chupacabra of South America, the geoduck is perhaps the worlds largest burrowing clam.

Not dissimilar to a human phallus, though not at all related to the Broken Penis Orchestra the geoduck is perhaps North America's answer to the Loch Ness Monster or even the Sasquatch (also north american, probably Canadian).

Now that you are curious and perhaps tittalated, I encourage you to pursue the geoduck for yourself.

music from the edge of space

Holy fucking shit. Negativland IS changing my life. Have you ever jammed a radio? Did you even know you could? Did you know an army of HAM radio operators monitor every storm that crosses the country, providing more accurate information than satellites do?

As promised, on the subject of spontaneous human combustion, a woman in a London discotheque had this unfortunate experience:

"As though driven by an inner storm, fire burst furiously from her back and chest, enveloping her head and igniting her hair, turning her in seconds to a human torch, and was dead before her horrified companion and other people on the dance floor could beat out the flames. Her boyfriend testified at the inquest: "I saw no one smoking on the dance floor. There were no candles on the tables and I did not see her dress catch fire from anything. I know it sounds incredible, but it appeared to me that the flames burst outwards, as if they originated within her body". Other witnesses agreed with him, and the coroner's verdict was eventually 'Death by misadventure, caused by a fire of unknown origin'.

broken penis orchestra

In what may or may not (and probably won't) be a turning point in my life, I was introduced to Negativland today at work by satan's own peter karpick. if you want to hear some of the most original, mind-blowing, asshattery ever to grace the airwaves ask me about the broken penis orchestra and I will provide you with something so amazing you just might spontaneously combust. More on spontaneous combustion soon.

sheesh

The FWA today is pretty amazing. Check it out. People are getting so good at making kick ass design using code that old ways of animating are quickly becoming way obsolete. The best designers are going to be the best coders, hands down.


In non-web design related news, these guys are fucking pissed.

fucking iPhones

Who fucking gives a shit. I bet there are about 987,192 bloggers posting pics and transcriptions of Steve Job's keynote masterbatory session at MacLoveFest '07. I am listening to half of my office touch themselves and each other to the awesomeness that is the iPhone. I don't give a shit for the following reasons:

1. It's a fucking cell phone that some swedish dickweed designed in about 4 minutes. it doesn't do anything cell phones haven't been doing for the past 3 years.

2. Mac's are okay. Most Mac users are okay. Mac users that buy iPod friendly strollers and iPod jackets are corporate brand whores make me want to shit. Apple is a massive corporation that has spent more money convincing you that they are they coolest thing on earth than they have on actual research and development.

So if you are sitting and screaming while Steve Jobs jacks off on your face, get ready to shill 500$ on a cell phone you will annoy the piss out of everyone else with.

Wii & Russians

Got a Wii today from Josh at work. I'm hoping it will really improve my putting game as well as my long ball.

Speaking of Russian Picture Sites, have you discovered them yet? I am thinking about stealing all the pictures from them and making an english version to get adSense traffic. Here are a few that I subscribe to:

http://www.ochevidec.net/
http://www.crazyrussian.com/
http://www.englishrussia.com/

The first one is the best and the last one is in really bad english but Russian none the less.

Back in blog

In an effort to rediscover my dormant awesomeness i want get some blog shit happening. I've been looking at CSS sites and getting very envious of what other people are doing. Here are some of the better ones I've seen today:

http://sebdesign.eu/
http://markjardine.com/
http://www.flowersofvanity.net/


This one is by far the best: http://podlob.com/

The problem with the world is that there are already enough experts at any given skill to sufficiently discourage any amateurs from pursuing it.